You can't save them

A lesson learned: "You can't save them."

As a person who loves to be there for others, I always try to be present in someone's life who may be struggling. I have always tried to pour all the love, kindness, and most importantly, I have tried to be a reflection of Christ through their hard times.

I truly believe He is the answer, the only answer to all that this world throws at us.

For years, I have done this. It is where my heart is at, still is, and will always be.

Something I had to learn over the years however, is that as much as I want to help someone out of their mess:

I am not them

I cannot be someone they always depend on

I can't save them myself

I am not them:

As much as I might want to help a person through what they are going through, I have to realize that I am not them. I can't decide things for them, I can't do what they should do for themselves. I can only be myself and encourage them to seek the help they need. Ultimately, with the right guidance and help, and in an appropriate mental health state, they know and can decide what is best for themselves. This is not about me, its about them and what is best for their wellbeing.

I cannot be someone they always depend on:

Trying to help someone does not mean you leave your own life to the side. I know what it is like to drop everything and run to be with someone (which is not always a bad thing until it becomes an everyday thing); it drained me, it was exhausting, and it was too late when I realized how deep I had gotten into it. It took one of the biggest tolls I had experienced on my mental health. I had to learn that as much as I want to help others, I can't live for two people.

I can't save them myself:

I cannot bring someone out of what they are going through myself. I can only be a friend, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone who prays for them, etc. I can only help them in so many ways and as much as I want to do more, I can't save them. It is not my job to. I had to remind myself that only God can save. I cannot bring them out of it all by myself. Only God can do that.

So, if you're a person who gets consumed with being there for your friend, a family member, a significant other, etc. Know that it is not your job to save them. While I know how hard it is to see someone you love suffering, God wants to use you as a vessel, but ultimately He is the healer.